Custom Bumper Stickers

I got the idea for custom bumper stickers when I was working at my awful office job. I had a little cubicle, and a boss peeking over my shoulder at every moment. It was one of those notoriously inefficient and micro-managerial environments so common in America. The boss is always spouting new slogans, printing up new customized promotional material, and adding more forms for us to fill out in an attempt to increase productivity.

One day, he came in with a batch of new custom bumper stickers, and discharged each of us with the task of giving them out to at least 10 people. The custom bumper stickers were awful. They were orange and green, which he said was more eye-catching than the normal company colors. It was actually more eye-catching because it was impossible to look away from. Even though it was just a small custom bumper sticker, just looking at it would give you a headache as if you were standing in a room painted with the neon paints.

 I thought of how often my boss printed up custom bumper stickers, custom coffee mugs, and the like. I knew that he didn’t have that high of a budget for advertising. Certainly, he squandered what he had. But still, if you could print up custom bumper stickers practically every week, it must be pretty reasonable. I was involved in the antiwar movement at the time, and asked some friends about the custom bumper stickers that they printed out. Sure enough, you can get them made cheaply. I decide to print out some of my own.

Some of the custom bumper stickers that I printed out had antiwar slogans, but often I just made ones that were funny or cute. After awhile, I would even take requests from friends. Once, for example, a friend was disgruntled with her work place. I printed out dozens of custom bumper stickers making fun of that company. She would anonymously put them on the cars of everyone who worked there, sneak away, and give everyone a laugh without ever being caught.

I guess it was kind of a childish impulse, but once I realized that I could make my own custom bumper stickers, I couldn’t stop myself. I must be the same urge that drives people to paint building after building with graffiti. Between you and me, I am still at it. To this day, I have put guerrilla custom bumper stickers on at least a thousand vehicles.